The reason I'm even bringing this up is because I'm having a rather shitty week. I'm bogged down in science classes, homework, exams, and essays. I can't believe I'm so busy, yet I fail to be highly involved in anything but 15 hours of classes and 10 hours of work per week. That's not much you say? Being busy isn't so bad you say?
Ha. Besides this, my boyfriend and I are having problems seeing each other because we're so damn busy. And the thing is that he makes himself busy, he chose to be busy in the first place. Then, since I am somewhat paranoid and quick to anger, I think that he's doing it to avoid me. I think he has someone else. I think he hates seeing me unless it leads to sex. I know that's not true, but I can't help but think it.
Back to the topic of balance. What really sucks, but doesn't, is that my life was so great before. I expected something bad to happen any minute. I was completely in love, seeing a flawless man riding on his white pony ready to take me away from the nightmare that was my life before. So, bad, good, now the bad must rule my life once again.
It's that damn balance that I'm holding up. The good stuff gets too heavy consequently flicking the switch that unloads a shit-ton of negative happenings to fall on my head like grand pianos in the cartoons I used to watch in simpler times. The good times.
I should have seen it coming. I knew it had to balance out sooner or later. It just sucks to live in fear of that which is inevitable. And now that my life is falling apart, I know I can look forward to the balance getting overweight on one side. Then a ton of flowers, puppies, and cookies will fall in my direction.
Moral of this story: If life sucks, don't worry because it can only get better. Life can't be shitty forever because it would mean an imbalance which would throw the world off course. Yes, little you can make such an impact. At least according to the Daoists.
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