And The Demon Comes Out

I have had a couple of shitty relationships, and I have come up with a reason most of us break it off. The demon comes out.


At first, I meet a guy, and if he likes me enough then he is an absolute angel. He opens the door, pays for all the dates, buys me pretty things, compliments me, calls me, texts me, makes me laugh, holds me, hugs me, spends all of his free time with me, and then somwehere down the line... the demon comes out. He comes out with his nasty little horns, nasty little claws, and nasty little attitude.


This mother jumps out of Hell when we think everything is perfect. It usually occurs somewhere after the big ILY. People get comfortable; it's true, but that doesn't mean all of the nice things in life that make your smile light up like the July sky should abruptly stop. Those daily texts, daily visits, and daily compliments become very few and far between. You start buying more things for him, taking him more places, and waiting on him to find time to hang out with you between beers and video games. The demon has taken control.


Wow ladies. I think I have found The One. He was way better than the other heavenly creatures who quickly fell below angelic standards. He was something special; there was no way he would turn on me.


Well, like most times, I wasn't completely right.


You see, I have a wee bit of an anger problem. I admit that I will get pissed at little things. That is my personality--who I am. When we first met, it was magical to find someone who could be patient and not get angry at me. I could get calm with him and love him more with every little squabble.


Somewhere along the road, patience dwindled. The little things he did that meant so much faded away into the darkness that had enveloped our relationship. We drifted apart slowly through a rough period. He had become interested in things other than our relationship. You know how boys pay all their attention to you in the beginning of a relationship? Yeah, we were over that period. Suddenly friends were more important. Video games were more interesting than seeing how my day was. Beer with his buddies was the better alternative to wine at a candlelit dinner.


You might think that I'm describing the beginning of a terrible breakup, but I'm not. I'm simply explaining that there are bad times that everyone must go through in order to make their relationship stronger.


Our love for each other has actually grown, and we enjoy each other's company when we have time. I stay over most nights, and he holds me close to his heart. So, the moral of this blog is that a little hardship is inevitable for an amazing relationship. The demon can be vanquished as long as you put in the effort.


P.S. I have decided that my sign-off will be a different quote each time =]


"Thou art to me a delicious torment."- Ralph Waldo Emerson


WM

The Case of the Lone Follower

I must say that I was super excited the other day when I logged on my blog to find that little old me had acquired a follower. Oh noble and loyal follower.

Well not anymore. Maybe we should put out an Amber alert for him because he disappeared a few days ago. I waited patiently for him to come back or write or show up on my traffic list with no luck.

Oh Lone Follower! Where art thou?

I must know. Did I drive you away with something I said? I didn't mean it. It's not you, it's me. I swear. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to get greedy and keep looking for more followers. You are more than enough for me lone follower.

Please come back.

Make me feel appreciated again.

Make me feel special: like what I write actually has some meaning to someone besides myself.

I want to feel popular again.

Come back.... please..... *cries*

Until next time---have fun in the sun, get laid in the shade.

The Greatest Idea Ever

So, I was in the car with my roomie the other day. We had the radio on, and we were jamming pretty loud. The radio station we were listening to was 96.1 The Wolf. They were playing one great song after another; we were just singing along with the windows down when we pulled up to Wal-Mart.

Now, I wouldn't really say we were in a terrible rush to get in there and shop for deodorant, but I did want to get to bed at a decent hour. I had a test the next day, and had to go to work at 8:30 am. Ick! I know!

Anyways, when we pulled into like the best parking spot ever (because it was pretty late), we were listening to yet another epic country song. You know--the one you know every single word to. Then, we kinda looked at each other. We both had that feeling that it sucks to turn off a good song, but we did anyways. It was like silence, and that happy feeling you get when you're rocking out and bobbing your head was all gone.

To the point. People should be able to hire live bands to follow them around and play music. I know. I know. What about the iPod? Well, I don't have an iPod. Ooooo. Shocker. I have an mp3 player that sucks balls, but I have yet to own an iPod because I find them overrated....

Okay. Okay. So, I just don't feel like spending money on it--especially if they come out with a new one each year that I would want. I'm cheap, frugal, whatever. I'd rather buy cigarettes.

If I ever win the lotto, I will buy a band. It would just be a small one, probably some teenage garage band who wanted to make a buck. Hell, you know it would be phenomenal to have a band sing to you. Just to you, and maybe they could write a soundtrack to your life.

Yeah. That's my great idea. Take it or leave it.

Oh, I'm looking for a sort of sign-off too, like Bruce Almighty, "And that's the way the cookie crumbles."

Feel free to leave some ideas. I know someone has to stumble upon this blog sooner or later.

But for now....

Have fun in the sun. Get laid in the shade. Ha.

Falling Apart

We've talked about some religions in my history class, and I've found that the Daoist belief is highly applicable. They think that everything must exist in balance in order for the world to keep on a' spinnin'. The concept of the yin-yang is awesome: masculinity vs femininity, good vs evil.

The reason I'm even bringing this up is because I'm having a rather shitty week. I'm bogged down in science classes, homework, exams, and essays. I can't believe I'm so busy, yet I fail to be highly involved in anything but 15 hours of classes and 10 hours of work per week. That's not much you say? Being busy isn't so bad you say?

Ha. Besides this, my boyfriend and I are having problems seeing each other because we're so damn busy. And the thing is that he makes himself busy, he chose to be busy in the first place. Then, since I am somewhat paranoid and quick to anger, I think that he's doing it to avoid me. I think he has someone else. I think he hates seeing me unless it leads to sex. I know that's not true, but I can't help but think it.

Back to the topic of balance. What really sucks, but doesn't, is that my life was so great before. I expected something bad to happen any minute. I was completely in love, seeing a flawless man riding on his white pony ready to take me away from the nightmare that was my life before. So, bad, good, now the bad must rule my life once again.

It's that damn balance that I'm holding up. The good stuff gets too heavy consequently flicking the switch that unloads a shit-ton of negative happenings to fall on my head like grand pianos in the cartoons I used to watch in simpler times. The good times.

I should have seen it coming. I knew it had to balance out sooner or later. It just sucks to live in fear of that which is inevitable. And now that my life is falling apart, I know I can look forward to the balance getting overweight on one side. Then a ton of flowers, puppies, and cookies will fall in my direction.

Moral of this story: If life sucks, don't worry because it can only get better. Life can't be shitty forever because it would mean an imbalance which would throw the world off course. Yes, little you can make such an impact. At least according to the Daoists.

Goosebumps

So, how do you figure out you are truly, deeply, madly, completely in love?

I get goosebumps.

Whenever I hear a special song on the radio or see a picture of a seriously happy couple, I know that Guy and me are supposed to be together. It's destiny, fate, whatever you want to call it.

When we first got together, we listened to a lot of music. A LOT. One day as we were sitting outside chatting about the random happenings of life, I decided to wander around on YouTube. The goal of this little cyber adventure was to find a really good song we had never heard before and experience it together for the first time.

I had been listening to quite a bit of Sum 41, so I typed them in. I passed up all the songs I already knew and came across "With Me." It was incredible. One of the lines spoke of love finding its way to you. Everytime I hear that song, I get goosebumps.

I recently began following the blog of Ex-Hot Girl, who is not at all ugly. As I read, I noticed she was a photographer, a fantastic photographer at that. I took a look at some of her pictures of weddings and such. I couldn't stop. She captured the extreme happiness in couples that I have found. I got goosebumps. I encourage you to take a look at her page: JBe Photography.

It's not just pictures and songs that give me the goosies. It's his eyes. Those bright blue eyes that make me want to cry when they look into mine. The bright blue eyes that let me know everything is going to be fine. The bright blue eyes that have some sort of gravitational force making me not want to pull away even if we're fighting. The bright bue eyes that give me goosebumps.

Love is an emotion so strong that it even shows up physically. Love is getting goosebumps.

It Feels Like Fall?

First off, I live in Texas where the weather can change like three times in one day; however, the first day of fall actually felt like fall. And it still feels like fall. It's not sunny, hasn't been for days. The rain just keeps coming.

Don't get me wrong. Rain is great. Without it we would not be alive, but I like a little sun to brighten my dreary days. Now, it's freaking cold too. I believe it's forty-seven degrees right now. Jeez! Now I have to crawl under the bed, or slither rather, to get to my box of warmies. I miss my summer!

It's Funny How We Judge People...

...then they become someone very close to us who is very different from who we thought they were.

I know I can be judgemental at times. I'll pick out every flaw that a person has when I first see them. Some people with many flaws have many great qualities too. At least I can see that after I get to know them a little better... or not.

When I first encountered my roomie, it was a conversation on the telephone. She laughed a lot. I thought, Oh no! Not a bubbly personality to conflict with my pessimism and temper. I just knew we were going to have a terrible time living together.

Then I finally met her. All of my stuff had been moved in a few days before she came. She wasn't skinny, with perfect hair, and perfect clothes the way I pictured her. She was pretty noral like me. Until...

She turned out needy, selfish, inconsiderate. I can't go on or I'll just blow up. Maybe it is because we live together... maybe it's because she's a cheap whore.

And to add on to that... she is judgemental like no other. She can't handle any different people hanging around with her friends. She will meet the person, give them the stink eye the entire time she has to sit in front of them, then bash them hardcore later. And who do you think has to hear the bashing? ME!

I cannot deal with the ongoing she's fat, and ugly, she has a weird chin, she looks like she has a big vagina... really? Seriously? Truly? Ugh.

The best part is that most of the time, all of those people she loves to judge turn out to be the most kindhearted people. She knew my boyfriend before I did because he was a transfer student, and he was in all of her classes. "He's such a smart ass. I think he's gay. All he does is talk crap."

And how does it turn out? I am truly, deeply, completely in love with this guy. Now, she calls herself his best friend. I'll get to that later...

I'll admit, some of our friends don't exactly choose the right path sometimes, but that doesn't neccessarily mean they're bad people. In front of their faces, she is their best friend. As soon as we walk away it turns to bash time.

And another thing is that I know she bashes me too. Even to my own boyfriend. I have gotten so tired of fighting with her (because you know I have to live with her *only til next year though*) that I just bury all of this extreme hatred deep inside. I act like I'm cool with her. I can't blow up on her like I want to. I can't deal with the increased bashing she will deal out then.

So...

Just remember not to judge people, because they could turn out to be your best friend or more.